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Digital Love

Humans have never been more dependent on the internet than ever before, with virtually everything being “digitized” even our love lives. This is in contrast to a few years back where you had to meet someone physically and asses them through first impressions, gradually knowing them yourself without having to worry about if they lied on their tinder profile or not.

In the modern era where internet dating is rampant, we get first impressions from a person’s profile. While things may seem to have been easier this just ironically complicates things. The consequences are so grave that you might find yourself waking up in the middle of the night and wondering why the person beside you in bed is so different from what you had imagined.

Oh Joe

Read Now: Signs of deep love in a relationship

Difference With Time

Kids these days are in some ways unlucky because they are already so exposed than kids were in the past. They grow up even more insecure and less naive.

Read Now: What is happiness to you?

Most don’t understand the joy of knowing someone intimately not based on first impressions they get off the internet but that sweet sensation you get in putting down your metaphorical shield and allowing someone to love you gradually like the slow process love should be much like evolution, maybe a little faster.

The Problem

People look to social media to understand and learn how to love from celebrities or influencers. Their eyes and brains are filled with happy pictures of people who seem to be or are really in love. This is in contrast to before where you had to figure things out by checking what works for you and your partner.

Break Up

This causes high expectations which in turn leaders to breakups and infidelities. With words like, “side chick”, “side piece” one can easily see how cheating is normalized. Little wonder why the infidelity rate is high, according to Hernom.com about 40% of unmarried relationships and 25% of marriages see at least one incident of infidelity. An issue of Marriage and Divorce journal also stated that 70% engage in some kind of affair sometime during their marital life.

Things may not be so gloomy after all. People have claimed to find the “right one” through the internet and that number seems to be growing continuously. There may still be hope after all as time gets by we can better navigate and develop a sort of “digital seventh sense” which may be able to digitally filter the persons we meet on the internet just from their online bio data. Thanks for reading my Ted talk.

Viewing happiness as a Nigerian

I did some surveys on twitter to understand how most Nigerians view happiness. I came to a few conclusions.

Nigerians mostly view happiness as social status, reaching a certain place in life, having a lot of money if not more, being able to afford anything and the list keeps ongoing.

A few questions people had difficulty or inconclusive answers to were as follows:

Can you be happy all the time?

Let’s say you attain the social status you craved, now what?

Can money buy happiness?

What does happiness mean to you?

Before we go into the details explaining what happiness is, let look at what isn’t happiness for a better understanding.

“Happiness is like butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder”

Henry david thoreau

Happy isn’t a state of mind

It’s believed that every individual has a level of happiness. Psychologists refer to it as a set-point theory of happiness. It varies for each individual based on the environment that they grew up and the life experiences they have had so far in life.

Most at times when you receive a salary alert/twitter giveaway alert, news of your loved one putting to bed, gift and so on, you would feel a level of increase in your current state of happiness. After some period of time, it returns back to it’s set point.

Equally the same when you received news of losing a loved one, your level of happiness decreased, creating a sad feeling. After a certain period, it returns back to it’s set point.

Read Now: How to build your self-worth to improve your self-esteem.

Does more money mean happiness?

“Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.”

Franklin D. Roosevelt

During my survey on twitter, most Nigerians if not all agreed that money is their source of happiness. A lot of Nigerian live below the poverty line which makes it hard to be happy.

For freelancers and entrepreneurs, the process of earning money gives them happiness rather than the money itself.

According to thriveglobal.com, researchers found that having more money directly increases life satisfaction. Nevertheless, after a certain period of time, the impact it has on happiness diminishes. And those with little money felt happier with increased earning.

Yet, money is needed to maintain the level of happiness(set point theory of happiness) or to keep it afloat.

What does happiness mean to you?

“Happiness is being contented with what you have, living in freedom and liberty, having a good family life, and good friends.”

Divyanka Tripathi

In Nigeria, people live with lots of expectations, either from people or themselves. Life isn’t a destination but rather a day to day journey.

Carrying a lot in the heart weights down your happiness and can disrupt chemical imbalance which could lead to depression.

Happiness is the ability to overcome negative emotions, seeing positive in the worst scenario. The ability to connect and affect others positively. A sense of well-being, joy, or contentment.

Your happiness simply means how contented you are with your life, how you interact with your family and friends. How you allow your day to day affects you.

Understanding “feminism” in Nigeria

Feminism/feminists are two of the most commonly used word in Nigeria’s social media platforms since 2010 according to Google trends. Most people have few to little understanding of what feminism actually means due to how frequently it’s often misused in Nigeria.

Some Nigerians view it as a stand against men due to how often the words are associate with “hate men” analogy. Some Nigerians criticize feminism/ feminist from a religious standpoint. Does beg the question of what is feminism actually?

What does feminism mean to you?

Feminism can be defined in simple terms as the fight for all people equality not just “women”. People should not be excluded based on their sex, race, tribe, religion, social standing, and sexual preference. Feminism is more than just gender equality.

Read Now: Understanding the LGBTQ+ community

That’s is the true meaning of feminism, but often on social media platforms, people use feminism to represent the wrong image which creates a horrible look for what feminism actually stands for.

Misandry is the hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against or boys in general

Wikipedia

When next you come across people associating themselves with the terms feminist. Yet only talks about their hatred towards men, they don’t represent feminism rather misandry.

Read Now: Speaking Up Against Sexual Harassment

Nudity & Feminism, What’s the connection?

Feminism means equality, not nudity, yet feminism stands with liberation. Over the years women have been subjected to what to wear, how to sit, and how to walk to mention quite a few.

In recent times more women can dress as they see fit without being subjected to the slut slender.

Read Now: Nudism culture: Feminism or Extremism?

Often people argue that male and female nudity isn’t the same. In truth, yes they are not the same, women have been covering their bodies in all religions and traditions over the years.

If women began to cover their eyes, after a long period of time, covering eyes would be the same as covering boobs. Her body, her choice!

The notion of feminism is against tradition/ religion?

Feminism isn’t against tradition nor religion. If the tradition in question is against gender equality then such tradition should be changed or scraped away because the world has moved passed those archaic ways.

Feminism is all about togetherness, peace, and one love. The notion that feminism is against religion is guff.

Read Now: Love in the social media era.

Conclusion

If you believe in one love, togetherness, peace, equality for all then you are already a feminist.

You should speak up because your voice means liberation not just for women but for discriminations based on religion, gender, tribe, social standing, and social orientation.

Being an entrepreneur isn’t for everyone, neither is being an employee. In Nigeria, people often argue which is better, an employee’s life, or an entrepreneur’s life. Entrepreneurs are seen as hustlers, free, risk-takers that have control over how much they earn and how their time is being spent.

They can engage in multiple businesses that act as the source of income increasing they are potential earning drastically. With experience and knowledge, they acquire developing businesses, achieving success which is their ultimate goal.

Read Now: How to be a successful entrepreneur in Nigeria.

In Nigeria’s reality, many entrepreneurs fail. There are lots of factors to consider as an entrepreneur in Nigeria. An entrepreneur in Nigeria doesn’t have a guaranteed salary or work security an employee has.

Most times, entrepreneurs don’t have a team of colleagues to fail back on or depend on, an alert to receive at the end of the month, allowance, office car, and career progression due to years of service.

The process of registering a company in Nigeria, the tax return, the failure, and business mishaps. The life of an entrepreneur isn’t as shinny as most motivational speakers in Nigeria make it seem.

There is a popular Igbo saying “If you tell a poor man what it takes to be rich, he would reply let him remain poor”. With proper planning and madcap ideas led by confidence and ambition, being a successful entrepreneur in Nigeria can be achieved.

Read Now: How to use digital marketing to improve your business.

With technology moving at a rapid pace, more opportunities are been presented to succeed in Nigeria as an entrepreneur.

Merits of being an entrepreneur in Nigeria

No salary cap

That’s what’s good about being an entrepreneur, your earning don’t have any salary cap. From my own personal perspective, I know a friend that’s a graphics designer that works as a freelancer and walks home with ₦10,000 on a bad day and ₦17,000 on a good day, do the maths with a calculator and it’s jaw-dropping.

Flexible Schedule

Part of the perks of being an entrepreneur is the flexibility of your time. When the business grows, you can equally employ people, sit back and observe.

Control

You are the boss. Free to make professional decisions, direct employees on how they can help the company achieve more.

Demerits of being an entrepreneur in Nigeria

Stress

Being the boss is cool and all but with no guaranteed income, no colleague for support. It can quickly turn into a lonely and stressful place. Mishaps are banned to happen and not all entrepreneurs have a business safety plan.

Startup time

Most businesses in Nigeria need a lot of hours at the being of the startup, due to different factors. If you are starting a business that has lots of competitors, lots of working time is the only way of building a solid reputation and customer base.

Risk

The best factor in Nigeria for entrepreneurs. The government doesn’t provide or aid small businesses trying to create empowerment. No available loan that’s below 10% interest for small business in Nigeria.

The risk of debt, the risk of failing, the risk of others witnessing your failure and risk of mental health, being an entrepreneur in Nigeria isn’t for the light-hearted.

Merits of being an employee in Nigeria

Alert

It comes always at the exact time, it’s needed the most. It’s financial security for most Nigerians. It even gets better when you are working for the state or federal government due to petition.

Most Nigerian banks are more engage to award loans to salary earners than entrepreneurs to the financial security monthly salary comes within Nigeria.

Less Responsibility

You are often assigned a particular role to perform a specific task. No need to be considered with mother tasks that weren’t assigned to you. You would receive your salary for completing only the task given to you.

Career Progression

Over years of services to a particular company, promotions are banned to occur, so does salary increase. It’s a system that awards employees for their years of services.

Demerits of being an employee in Nigeria

Limited income

Limited income puts a constraint on your life. Bonuses and allowances can only do some much but even those are capped.

No passion

Over the years of working as an employee, you are banned to lose your passion, the spark in you. It naturally occurs that you won’t know at what point you lost your passion.

Job Security

Once every year, we get the news of an outrageous number of people in Nigeria that lost their jobs at the banks. Jobs are never guaranteed for life and employers can often sack employees without giving a solid reason.

Conclusion

Nigeria is a country where nothing is a given, not your job, not your housing, not your welfare absolutely nothing.

If you are an entrepreneur, have a safety plan in place for an emergency and invest wisely, if you are an employee try to open a small business, look for means to earn additional income each money.

Online Shopping growth in Nigeria

It’s no secret that online shopping has started gaining ground in Nigeria, with people selling different products like sneakers, clothes, shoes, and more on different online platforms such as Instagram, WhatsApp, Twitter, Jumia and the list goes on.

Most of these products that are being showcased on these platforms are often fashion products. But the biggest problem with buying online from unverified sources is being a victim of online fraud which is quite common.

We did some research and compiled a list of the best online stores specifically for shopping for clothes in Nigeria, where you can shop with an assurance of quality and good customer services.

Note: We are not affiliated with these websites, this list was compiled from “Best of” lists published by the most trusted sources, reviews and google recommendation.

The5kShop

Affordable clothing and accessories for women. Decent value for money.

Price Range: Low.
Latest Trends: High.
Website Usability: Easy to navigate.
The best thing about the site: Everything is below ₦5,000.

Besaz boutique

Besaz boutique has great going-out clothes in the latest trends.

Price Range: Medium.
Latest Trends: High.
Website Usability: Fairly easy to navigate.
The best thing about the site: They have a section for the plus size and they can ship to Ghana and the US.

Chincotonaija Online Shop

Chincotonaija is surprisingly good for getting cheap clothes but can equally be viewed as a wholesale store.

Price Range: Low.
Latest Trends: High.
Website Usability: Easy.
The best thing about the site: They have a loyalty system that rewards the customer for buying.

Obeezi

Obeezi has men’s clothes as well as women’s clothes in their online shopping platforms. They have different fashion accessories ranging from wristwatches to men’s purses. It’s really a shop for all. Available as a mobile app for ios and android.

Price Range: Medium-High.
Latest Trends: Medium.
Website Usability: Simple, clean and clear website layout.
The best thing about the site: Plenty of offers and sales on the website.

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Find Original Clothes with going out of your comfort zone.

Shopping online can help you find quality and different clothes than in the market. What to know about different online shopping sites and the kinds of clothes they sell?

We’ve all been there. You spend time at the local market looking for original right cloth for an event, only to wear that dress out to the venue and wind up matching with your someone else, then calling “sis”.

Having the same clothes as a lot of other people is bound to happen, as most sellers in the market have the stock, and import similar products, if not exact, products. A great way to avoid buying similar stuff to everyone and finding different items is by shopping online.

Next time you feel you need some new clothes, shoes or bag, just think of the style you’re looking for. There is a site with the relevant clothes is out there!

Class and High-Quality

For classic and elegant clothes, there are sites like Chincotonaija and the5kShop. Chincotonaija is a new online, which ships directly from China, they sell designer clothes, shoes, bags, and accessories. It has all sorts of different styles of clothes on the site from Chinese designers. From classic purses and retro sneakers to designer dresses, although it’s mostly for wholesale with a few for retail purchase.

The5kShop is the true embodiment of online shopping in Nigeria, just as the name suggests everything in the store is no more than ₦5,000. They have different clothes from different designers but from Nigeria and overseas. They sell most female dresses with elegant style and design.

Obeezi is filled with lots of discounts offer for their products. Their wristwatches and men’s shoes can’t be matched in quality by any other store.