August 2020


These three terms are usually interchanged even though they don’t define precisely the same things. So what is the difference between racism, bigotry, and prejudice?

Prejudice is judging people or reserving attitudes towards a certain social group without any rational basis. When somebody pre-judges a person using an already constructed stereotype of the person’s social group which they know little else about, then they are being prejudiced. Prejudices could be positive or negative. For example, if you believe tall guys are smarter, you in effect believe short guys are dumb.

Bigotry is a kind of narrow-minded belief is strongly held attitudes and values, especially when they propagate discriminatory behavior against a certain social group. For example, if you believe short guys are dumb without manifesting any discriminatory behavior towards them because of that, then you cannot be a bigot. A bigot—who would have to be tall and believe narrow-mindedly in his own smartness— is apt to take their prejudice a step further to demean, humiliate, and embarrass, any other person lower on the smart totem pole than he is. Some would say Donald Trump is a bigot.  

Racism, a common word is thrown about in the media these days. When pre-judgments are made about a certain race and are used to discriminate against them, then that is racism. And when these discriminations become the basis for limiting the group’s political, social, and economic rights, then you have systemic racism. That is, the racial discrimination has been fully normalized, propagated, and is being constantly reproduced by the system so that the discriminated group can do almost nothing to rise above its low station since the basis for its position is equated inherently with its undeniable origins.

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Some minority groups in America hold certain values contrary to the mainstream, like the conservative Pennsylvanian American-Amish, say, or the alt-right movement. If these decide to condemn their beliefs and join up with the conventional herd, there’s nothing to stop them from accessing resources equally with the rest of the American people. But a black man cannot decide to stop being black for the same reason. His blackness is a visibly inherited testament to his place in society.

It was until after the vulnerable blacks became slaves to the Americans, that the whites brought themselves to believe—without any rational basis—that the black man had to be something relatively dumb and sub-human, and that they themselves were by nature the superior race. Then came the civil war when the blacks were liberated from slavery and given all sorts of unfulfilled promises of property and political rights. Then came the post-Reconstruction era when Jim Crow was effected on the basis of racial segregation. And then came King and his civil rights movement and the political liberation of the black minorities. Yet at this time psychological scientific theories founded on conducted intelligence tests were floating about, propounding the natural dumbness of the black man, and the need to limit their retarded numbers in the delicate dealings of State.

But how did a black man expand his mind on certain matters when he hadn’t the choice to pick out a home in a decent neighborhood that fostered adequate learning, or the wherewithal to see himself through school? How did such a man hold any interest in affairs larger than himself, when he struggled night and day from dirt-paying jobs when he had little options in a country that denied him access to economic rights and so pushed him to make illicit trades just to keep alive?

Then the system comes along and calls him a drug-dealing low-life criminal, sending out killers in police uniform to rid the streets of the hoodlum. And if the system is called to it, there is vehement denial at the fore, edicts, and citations that prove that there is indeed equal access to opportunities for all, that the Black Lives Matters movement is just a big victim-playing hoax, while behind there still stands in-group partiality for the prevailing social group.

It is little wonder that James Baldwin had said about Luther’s budding success, that “You know, and I know, that the country is celebrating one hundred years of freedom one hundred years too soon.”

Almost forty years since Baldwin’s speech, and we still clearly attest to indiscriminate police brutality against blacks and unlawful accusations of rape, murder, and assault like in the Jim Crow days.

It can only do to hope for now that—come the next sixty years— Baldwin’s words should turn out to be mere speculations of a celebrated essayist in a fervent moment of epistolary scripting.        

Many people, especially those living in low-resource countries, want the opportunity to study abroad. When I was in high school, the most common countries people wanted to study in were the United Kingdom, the United States, and Canada. These countries have world-renowned institutions and are also English-speaking. The occasional adventurous student would look into France or Germany, but for the most part, these three countries topped the charts.

However, when it comes to studying in the U.S., people aren’t asking themselves all the right questions. By the time they get here, they are left in a difficult rut to come out from. So today, I will be sharing with you some questions that you should be asking to figure out if studying in the U.S. is right for you. Please note that these questions can be applied to studying abroad in general.

What course do I want to study?

Many U.S. universities offer a wide range of courses. One thing I love about the education system is the ability to change your course after being admitted. The flexibility in course selection is amazing. However, many professional courses are not offered at an undergraduate level. What do I mean? Courses such as medicine, law, physical therapy, etc are post-graduate level courses. You already have to complete a first degree (usually within the U.S.) before pursuing them. This means that a lot of resources will be dedicated to pursuing such degrees. Other professions such as therapists require at least a graduate level degree to even be licensed. If you want to pursue any of such degrees straight up, you may need to reconsider coming to the U.S.

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Where do I want to end up after school?

This goes hand in hand with choosing your course. A degree may apply in the U.S, but may not be applicable in your home country. Take for example, physician assistants. This is a well-recognized profession in the United States, but many countries do not accredit them. If staying in the U.S is not part of your long-term goal, you need to be careful about studying a course that wouldn’t be applicable in the country you wish to live.

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Am I looking for a path to citizenship?

Some international students come to the U.S. with the intention of going back home after their studies, while others do not. If your plan is to live and work in the U.S., you need to start familiarizing yourself with the various paths to citizenship. Certain fields such as engineering and healthcare have better chances with H1B visas (a type of work permit which has at the time of writing been halted by President Trump). As well, immigration in the U.S. is constantly changing depending on the presidency. If remaining in your country of study is very important to you, I would suggest starting now to research various options. I would also suggest looking up more countries with friendly immigration policies for international students.

Do I have a family and other dependents?

If you are the breadwinner of your family, this is very important. International students are only allowed to work on campus, not more than 20 hours a week. It is very difficult to sustain a family on such an income. Depending on the type of visa that your dependents are on, they may not be able to work at all in the United States. You also need to show proof that you can care for your dependents before being issued a visa. If the limited ability to work will affect your family, you may need to consider schooling in a different country that allows off-campus work opportunities.

How much am I willing to spend?

More money talks. International students are not always aware of how they can cut costs while schooling abroad. Options exist such as attending community college, going to state schools, scholarships, and grants, etc. I suggest looking into these options and contacting your school’s financial aid office for more information. As well, various countries have programs where they send their citizens to study in the U.S. in return for service for a number of years. That may be something to look into. whatever it is, you want to be able to cover your expenses. It’s one thing to be broke, it’s another thing to be broke on foreign soil.

Well, that’s all I have today. Please let me know if I am missing out on anything else in the comment section. Check out my other posts on Adabekee.

In today’s world, true love seems more like a fairy-tale than a reality. Words like side-chick and side-piece have shown how infidelity and cheating have been normalized within society. Yet, true love still exists and very much alive. The signs of true love from a woman is quite visible as it’s depicted in countless movies and also around us. But the signs of true from a man aren’t quite visible due to patriarchy and how society expects a man to act.

That being said there are countless men out there that are faithful, trustworthy, and have what it takes to truly love a woman. It’s just that it’s harder to tell if a man is truly in love with you or the lather.

In this article, we would be going over ten different signs that show that a man is truly in love with you. By the end of article you would have a clearer understanding of what true love from a man feels like.

Signs of true love from a man

Signs of true love from a man

You feel like the best version of yourself

If you feel like the best version of yourself in a relationship that means the man is your hero and that can’t happen unless the man is in deep emotion with you.

That every one of your friends gets treated in a similar way in their relationship doesn’t mean you should get the same or as if is the norm. You can’t use that as a basis for judging true love.

Try to be customized and sensible if he encourages you to become a better person that’s an indication that the man has a true love for you.

The second-guessing becomes non-existent

When a man is truly in love with you, the second-guessing is gone. You would feel confident and well assured of the direction the relationship is going towards. You won’t be left to fill the answers to the questions you should be asking.

He would make you feel secured and not let your insecurities creep in. His trust and love in you would be visible to out-shadow the second-guessing.

You are a priority

He makes it clear to you and everyone else that you will always come first in his life. Priority in a relationship means that your comfort, happiness, safety always comes first to him. This is one of the important signs of deep love from a man because his actions would match his words of love.

The little details are not forgetting

How can he forget any detailing when he is busy studying you and things that make you happy as well as avoid the ones that make you sad. You can only get that learning curve experience from true love and he will improve and get better in relating with you which will make him love you the more.

You will be wrong or belong to some people that believe a passer-by or someone that wants to have sex with you will forfeit his time or be that patience learning who you are or pay close attention to you noticing some detailing about.

It takes a long or even longer process to carry out not a short one which you can see in the sex relationship but in truth. But why will anybody do so? It can only be true love.

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He listens

If a man loves you, he’ll make the time to be with you in the best way he can by listening to your opinion and hears you at the same time. There is this old belief that still surfaces till date, that a man listens attentively to his beloved and asks questions as a sign of true love but if he is silent and never interested to hear you that means there is no true love maybe just physical intimacy.

Decisions are made as one

He sees you as one body with his and integrates you in everything that he does believe you will give him your best decision that really trusts which comes from true love.

When a man loves you I mean true love he wants to include you in each of his affairs. With that in mind, he will always problem to you so that the decision can be taken together and will not take any decision on a solo basis until you have contributed and concluded. He sees you as inseparable and part of his team that shows any conversation will be followed as a goal. You are now his teammate and always there to be supporting each other.

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He admires you

Yes yes! This will always exist in a true love relationship. He will always adore you and you will be attracted to him due to the small details that he constantly picks from you, that is why you will always be the best version of yourself.

Your happiness means the world to him

It’s like a connection, he would want you to be as happy as possible. His goals and dreams would equally make you happy as well. Your personal success or milestone makes him equally as happy as you the achiever.

At this point, y’all would genuinely want the best for each not just to rise within the society but because of shared love and happiness generate from each other that’s true love.

Doesn’t judge you

Human beings are not perfect creatures and he won’t hold the standard of a perfect being. He knows you are not perfect, some of your actions are not, nor your decisions. Naturally, he would try and correct you but not in a form of judgment or a constant reminder of your mistakes.

He sees your mistakes as a lesson you can learn from because he knows he isn’t perfect either. When he is truly in love with you, he supports you by correction and not judging.

Protects you

True love makes him care for you. The main reason that he cares for you means that he will always look after you by providing an umbrella to shelter or guard you during the rainy days. Protection goes beyond physical protection often depicted in movies, he won’t let anyone talk bad about you in front of him.

He will naturally protect you and constantly look out for you as well as things that can hurt you. He will always be there when you need protection and support.

To conclude, when you are in a relationship with a man that’s truly in love with you, the signs of true love would be visible for everyone to see.